Finding out you’re unexpectedly pregnant is life changing. You’re probably not sure what to do next. When it comes to telling your boyfriend, it’s best to tell him right away. This affects him too and you most likely don’t want to handle this all alone.

Here’s a good approach to breaking the news:

Discuss your strengths as a couple. All couples have good and bad days. Emphasize the good days you’ve had together. Talk about how you’ve overcome challenges before.

Tell him you’re pregnant. If you’re in a loving relationship, this could potentially be a surprise that will lead to an even closer relationship. If not, he still needs to know regardless of your status together.

Offer to include him in the decisions. The coming days will be filled with lots of choices to make. Letting him into the decision making process will make him feel included and you feel supported.

Let him know how much you need and appreciate his support. Here’s a secret about men: they want to feel needed! Also, you’re in this together and it’s important to show support to one another.

Give him time to process. Maybe you’ve had hours or days to sort through your feelings and plans before you tell your significant other that you’re pregnant. Give him time to wrap his head around the news as well before you expect total alignment and loving support.

Bottom line: For you to succeed as a couple, or even as co-parents, you will need to develop the communication skills to tackle the curve balls that life throws at you. This might be the hardest endeavor you both will have to go through but it could also strengthen your relationship.